Merry Christmas: To be Forgiven Is Bliss

After spending the better part of the week running around town doing Christmas shopping and errands, i was hoping for a change of pace today, so I decided to visit my Ninang (filipino for Godmother). My Ninang has known me since I was a baby having been spiritual parents since I was baptized. Her small, short stature belies her huge heart, maternal instincts, and caring personality. My Ninang and I were quite close in years past, but in recent times we`ve only talked maybe once a year (usually around Christmas time). This afternoon I decided to surprise her and dropped by her house (a short 5 min drive from my place). When she came to the door to greet me, she was so delighted to see me, and invited me into her house. We chatted for over an hour over some Root Beer and cookies, talking about her kids, and what she's been up to these days. We spent the most time, however, reminiscing about her late husband or my Ninong (Godfather) who passed away over five years ago after a long fight with cancer. Ninong was a man of great character, who never got angry at his wife and kids (even though she sometimes had a short temper). He was a quiet, respected, and humble man, who could never hurt anyone with his words or actions. In the years since his death, I could always sense Ninang`s profound sense of sadness and even guilt. Not only did Ninang miss him, but she felt guilty because she felt that somehow she was to blame for his death..somehow thinking that she didn't take good care of him. It was a sense of guilt and yearning for forgiveness that she couldn`t even begin to shake off until one day earlier this year...

Ninang woke up one day, knelt in prayer and "talked" to her husband - something she did almost every day since he passed away. She asked her husband if he could just give her sign that he had forgiven her, then she could be more at peace. She struggled for a bit to think of the right kind of sign. After a moment, she then told her husband that if he could give her a yellow rose, then she would believe that she was forgiven. She then went about her daily routine, going to the market, doing her volunteer work, and running errands. As the day passed, without the much awaited sign, she grew somewhat anxious. At one point, she tried to look for other signs, such as going to get her lotter ticket checked. She told herself, just before she had it checked that if she won $1, then that would be the sign. So she had the ticket checked, and sure enough she won exactly $1. But somehow it didn't seem right, it wasn't enough, and she carried on looking for the sign. Later that day, she visited her youngest daughter at her home. After a pleasant chat over snacks, it was time to say goodbye, but her daughter told her to wait before leaving saying she had something to give her. Ninang immediately refused...since she knew that she was might be trying to give her some money like she had done in the past. But this time, she came back from outside with scissors in one hand, and...a rose in the other....a YELLOW rose. Her daughter, said she wanted her to have it from her garden. By this time, Ninang was on the verge of bursting into tears, but managed to hold it back as she didn't want to make a scene. "How did she know?", my ninang asked herself. There was no way! She could not have known....UNLESS... By now, Ninang had said her goodbyes and drove home in earnest as tears as streamed down her face - she wanted to get home and talk to HIM. Once she got home, she said a prayer and said a few words to her husband....thanking him for his forgiveness.

My Ninang has now told this story to a few people, and some of them don't believe her (or at least show some skepticism)...and she understands, probably because she would have had a hard time believing it if someone else told her the same story in different times. I believed her. And even though, I don't think she deserved to blame herself for her husband's death, the guilt she felt was undeniable. Coincidence or not, the power of forgiveness is unmeasurable. Being forgiven after hurting someone is arguably one of the most profound and kind acts someone can do for you. But to forgive someone else, takes a lot more. So my wish for this Christmas is that each of us will think of someone that has hurt us (recently or in years past), and tell them that you forgive them. You might just understimate the power of such an action....

Merry Christmas Everyone!